Who I am and Who I Want to be

Here I go again, starting a new blog. I thought about making separate blogs for these issues, but it is better this way.
I am a transracial adoptee from Paraguay. People tell me “you should be grateful” or “you are just soo luccky.” My feelings on this have never matched the happy-clappy adoptive families that I saw on television. It’s so much more complicated than many in the industry like it to appear.
I care for the environment. Over the past four years or so, I have noticed my chemical consumption, dangers of plastics, how everyone is affected. I have slowly changed my habits, but sometimes “convenience” still gets me.
I am a Christian, and I am still figuring out my place there. I am not evengelical or Catholic; anyone can believe whatever, Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Pagan, or no religion at all. I was raised Roman Catholic, but by age 11, I was not feeling like I belonged there anymore.
I am a college student about to graduate after 4.5 years with a dual degree of journalism and sociology. By the time I realized I didn’t want to write full time, I was too far in to quit. I am applying to Louisiana Tech to hopefully get a degree in teaching blind students.
I am a blind person. I was born three months early and have retinopathy of prematurity. I was fortunate to learn Braille when I was three and have a cane in my hand when I was two. I grew up reading and listening to stories of positive blind children and successful blind adults. However, I didn’t know any of these people until I was 16 and got reinvolved with the National Federation of the Blind. I was never allowed to go anywhere alone, and I think I was a little shocked when my first independence came at college.
I am now an unnoficially a teacher for blind people. I go to their houses, schools, and workplaces showing them how to email, use the internet, use microsoft stuff, ETC. We also work on Braille notetakers, cell phones, Ipods, and whatever technology is around. We also work on Braille, which is extremely important to me. We cook, sometimes from mixes and sometimes from scratch. My students are often frustrated because they are having trouble understanding or it takes them a while to learn something. I always tell them “learn it in baby steps and soon it will turn into a mile.” Many of them have additional disabilities: cerebral paulsy, paralysis, autism, brain tumors, learning disabilities. My heart is with the children. I hope, in some small way, that seeing me will let them know that they do not have to sit at home for the rest of their lives and have someone do everything for them.
I am a guide dog user. I have had three dogs, all black labs, since 2006, and I have run the gamet of emotions with them. I didn’t have pets growing up, and now I couldn’t imagine my life without a dog.
Finally, I am someone who has depression. I crashed at the end of 200 when I kipped haf of my classes, didn’t return calls or emails, failed my internship, lost my guide dog, ETC. I’m so tired all te time, and I have little motivation. There are so many things to take care of, and on their own, they are managable. However, taking them altogether just totally overwhelms me. I have trouble concentrating and remembering things; I used to be able to write quickly and well, and now it takes me an hour to write a page for a paper, not to mention trying to do research analysis. I sometimes feel like a hipocrit telling my students they can do anything when it takes all of my effort some days to go grocery shopping, to the cafeteria, and walk to class.

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